DORA turned one year old on Sunday.

DORA is the only cat whose birthday we can celebrate since she is the only one we got as a kitten. Her birthday is on Valentine's Day, meaning that in the coming years February 14 will be the day when I can directly measure my worth to ANGEL-ASS against DORA's. Celebration of our love for each other will compete with a celebration of DORA's birth. I expect they will be met with equal pomp, though I hope I will not be expected to take DORA out to dinner as well (tuna is expensive at restaurants).

It is time, then, to look back on the memories DORA has created in this first year in a segment I call, "I'll never forget that time..."

INFTT when DORA knocked my goddamn cup over when it was full of water.
INFTT when DORA knocked my other goddamn cup over when it was full of water.

INFTT when DORA sat on a pile of pillows that had fallen off the couch while ANGEL-ASS and I were upstairs. She spoke from her perch with a melodious voice befitting heavenly choirs:

"YEAAEEEEEEAAAAAAAAOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOEEEEEEEEAAAAAWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."

We reacted quickly, assuming she was injured, but when we arrived at the top of the stairs she stared at us, clearly impatient with the fact that we had spent a full five minutes not paying attention to her.

She repeated,

"YEAAEEEEEEAAAAAAAAOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOEEEEEEEEAAAAAWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

This translates literally to, "PILLOWS!"

Now, we knew from her age and her corresponding level of cognitive development that this was a holophrase (a one-word phrase used by children in early language acquisition as a code for a much broader idea). Through careful explication and through the consultation of experts in child psychology we have determined this holophrase to mean, in no uncertain terms,

"Mother, father, I'm so glad you've come. It seems I have exhausted my capacity to play by myself and I require your attention. You may notice that I am sitting on pillows, which I feel will serve as an effective, though rudimentary, playing area (given their varied topography and gentle texture). It is in your interest to know that I am resolved in this sentiment and will be happy to vocalize it repeatedly until my needs are met. Descend, then, mother and father, from your current station and entertain me, for that is your purpose."

Perhaps we imagine her to be more eloquent than she really is.

All joking aside, DORA is truly our cat. We got her when she was only a few weeks old and we have watched like proud parents as she has grown up. Recently, ANGEL-ASS referred to DORA as her "prize pumpkin," since it is evident in the shine of her fur and her general energy level and spirit that she is remarkably healthy.

Hmm. I think I mixed antecedents there...I mean that DORA has nice fur. Not ANGEL-ASS. I'm sure ANGEL-ASS would have nice fur if she had fur. Are we clear now?

It's probably not entirely in the spirit of this blog to say that I truly love having DORA around and that I will miss her dearly when ANGEL-ASS moves to Raleigh this coming week.



OH!

ANGEL-ASS IS MOVING TO RALEIGH THIS COMING WEEK.

She got a job and she's relocating. Don't worry, she's not leaving me with all of the cats (although that would certainly be fit fodder for this blog). She's only leaving the one that shits on the floor every day. Just that one. The blog will continue, but I don't see there being as much to write about in the next few months.


LESTER has developed a bond with me and RACK-N-ROLL that cannot be denied. He sleeps in her room and he seems to gravitate towards us in general, so it is natural that he will be the one staying with us. Also, he is new and it would be too stressful for him to have to adapt to yet another new environment just as he completes his adjustment to our apartment.

He has overcome his initial nervousness and relations between him and the girls are cordial if not always diplomatic. The only remaining issue is that he refuses to use the litter box. I believe this is a carefully considered and conscious decision on his part, not just a behavioral issue. Putting myself in his shoes, I can see his discomfort. If I needed to go to the restroom and my only option was a room painted purple which I know is already in use by two girls, I would probably assume that it is a girl's bathroom. All that is missing is a changing station and a tampon dispenser (the latter of which would be decidedly unnecessary given the girls' lack of...er...you know). LESTER clearly needs a men's restroom, complete with graffiti, broken locks and $0.25 condoms (if only for show). He will get his bathroom and all will be made right in his life, and when he is reunited with the girl cats he will use a different litter box. In the meantime, however, we suppose that he will continue to relieve himself as he sees fit...in public...unabashedly...just like any self-respecting man.